Excitement turned up to 11

If I am the general manager of the Buffalo Sabres these are 5 things I would do to help my team win and bring some interest to the team so the good people of Buffalo will have something to cheer for.

1. Sign someone, anyone that has proven scoring ability and is in the prime of their career. Maybe letting a former 40 goal scorer go when we still owned his rights for 1 year was not the best decision. Trade him at least. Get some cash, a bag of pucks, a $1 (ala Ray Sheppard).

2. Get into a public feud with Larry Quinn. There is nothing that gets the fans and NHL interested in the team more than when there is an interoffice war. The last time that happened (circa 1997) management had it's house cleaned and the Sabres were the embarrassment of the NHL. This time let the stories about who is sleeping with who make it into print.

3. Go on a "Scouting Trip" to South America bringing back Inca gold and stories of befriending the local indians and how you wrestled an Anaconda off of Don Luce. Your locker room street cred will go through the roof with the Indiana Jones clique.

4. Take Tim Connolly and Taylor Pyatt out for a ride into the country. Stop by the side of the road and let them out. Throw a stick into the woods and tell them "Your free now" It's called cutting your loses. These guys may have potential but I don't see them growing anymore in Buffalo.

5. Set up a dunk tank at HSBC arena for the remaining home games between February and April after the Sabres have been officially ousted from the playoff race. The GM will the one being dunked in the tank. Did I mention that the tank will be set up outside?